friends

I was talking to old friends and it made me think. People change. I love changes. It brings out the REAL person. Not some fake person. I've had too many fake friends and its stupid. They backstab you. They don't care about you. Because they never did. Ever. I think I have about 5 friends. Yep. At school that is. Out of school I have about 1 friend. She's cool. I haven't told her about the cuts. No. I have told 3 of my close friends though. I told 2 of them that I'm schizophrenic. They all know I'm an insomniac. Only 1 knows about my low self esteem, the way I have now started skipping breakfast and lunch, the one I trust the most, the one who cares. I'm pretty loud and bitchy at school. It's my 'self defence' against people. I think that's why I hardly get bullied, I'm not the quiet one people would pick on. I'm a black stripe in taekwondo. Today, I made 3 cuts. First cut because I was pressured. Second cut because I was putting myself down. Third cut because I'm a fuck up. I promised myself I would never become suicidal. I promised.