Childline

Yesterday I had a 1-2-1 chat with a childline councillor. Some of it helped and they obviously care. I felt I needed to talk to someone. So I did. I'm going on again tonight. I've promised some things. If you're feeling down just go online and have a 1-2-1 chat with a councillor, they will definitely help you.

why I self harm.

I self harm because I'm ugly and fat and worthless and stupid and insane and fucked up and the list goes on and on. Occasionally I get the odd 'fat' and 'ugly' at school. I'm schizophrenic and the voices, they tell me the same things. Fat, ugly, stupid. Then they tell me to cut. I think about it then find a blade. Then I just, slice. It helps me escape. Crying and cutting. I feel like nobody cares.
Not even myself.

about me.

well here's a bit about me. you'll learn more later on, maybe. my name is aly. I am 13. I live in the UK. I'm a cutter. I cut my left wrist and my right thigh and sometimes my stomach. I have reasons why. I'm an insomniac. I skip breakfast and sometimes lunch. I'm schizophrenic. I have not told anybody in my family about this. I'm scared to. I have an intense fear of lifts. I'm scared they will fall. I love one direction. I go all fangirly over them. I have a crush on someone. I wouldn't call it bullying, but I get called ugly and fat sometimes. I'm quite clever. I'm predicted an A* for my GCSE's. In year 7 I got a level 7a for biology. Top of the class, the next highest level was 6a. I can be loud. I'm happier at school than at home. I don't know why. I carry sharpener blades in my bag at school. They're small and sharp. That's all I have to say. So far.